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Literature Text
deep inside
these glass ribs
fire bursts
a supernova
burning brightly
melting these
corrosive
bones
shedding
this skin
a metamorphosis
butterfly wings
replace flightless
words
this wildfire
spreads
curling my toes with
delight
I feel the warmth
like constellations
in my brain
the pieces connect
slowly
the icy tomb
cracks
drums beating once again
death no longer
has a place
to hide
ignite
and watch the world
slowly
dance with
light
Literature
Compendium
1.
Pair of lovers:
the greyed doves perch,
an old married couple.
2.
Lonely navigator—
a bumblebee lands, graceless;
the flower droops.
3.
The rain-swollen sky
bruised purple, and darkening:
work of angry gods.
4.
Lanterns released—
a thousand midnight suns;
night becomes day.
5.
Kitchen cyclamen,
yearning for raindrops
a window away.
6.
Silver dragon
weaving through fields—
overflowed river.
7.
Afternoon sun
meets the stained glass door—
light-dance ensues.
8.
Night sky, aglow:
yellow gleaming of the
lightbulb moon.
9.
Citrus silence:
an afternoon respite
by the lemon tree.
Literature
then i burst into flames and fell
i heard your cosmic blow
crack the crusted knuckles
of his hands
and
lodge itself into the mantle
of the world i cradl
Literature
Carving Constellations
Doctors carve out constellations,
stitch star maps into my skin,
a web of scars, a path to take
to find myself again.
My scars are sewn of haunted stars,
constellations but half-drawn;
ghosts of star-fire whispering words
that fade out with the dawn.
They took my rib from me,
ground it up, reformed it,
turned it into Eve;
made a girl with my own name:
a girl they say is me.
My fragile face now hers,
our spirit splintered,
she stands for nothing
I once stood for.
Deep scars fade
before their meanings are deciphered;
yet more maps unfold
to take their place.
Every new cut, every new stitch
remakes me into myself.
To secure my spine, they c
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Written for ~PrussianPersephone because she's awesome. Go check her out, love on her page a little. Go ahead. She doesn't bite.
Type: free style
Inspiration: fire, ice, stars, and bones
Type: free style
Inspiration: fire, ice, stars, and bones
© 2013 - 2024 crystallized-skies
Comments19
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Overall
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Originality
Technique
Impact
(Keep in mind this is actually the first critique I have ever done, ehe)
I love the imagery in this piece! A tad straightforward, but it's quite nice, nonetheless. And you used my favorite words. c:
One thing I'd have to mention though - I think a little punctuation would help add an impact to this more. Commas and periods and such. for instance:
"deep inside
these glass ribs
fire bursts
a supernova
burning brightly
melting these
corrosive
bones"
could become
"deep inside
these glass ribs,
fire bursts.
a supernova
burning brightly;
melting these
corrosive
bones."
Something like that.
But I really did enjoy this, and it was a nice read. You connected all the prompt words very well and left me with a warm feeling inside. I get the impression of someone finally learning how to "come out of their shell" and opening up to the world; letting other people into their lives and finally learning to enjoy how to live.